I Only Say This Because I Love You Talking to Y

Whydoestalkinfamiliessooftengoincircles，leavingustiedupinknots?Inthisilluminatingbook，DeborahTannen，thelinguistandandbestsellingauthorofYouJustDon'tUnderstandandmanyotherbooks，revealswhytalkingtofamilymembersissooftenpainfulandproblematicevenwhenwe'realladults.Searchingforsignsofacceptanceandbelonging，wefindsignsofdisapprovalandrejection.Whydotheseedsoffamilylovesooftenyieldaharvestofcriticismandjudgment?InIOnlySayThisBecauseILoveYou，Tannenshowshowimportantitis，infamilytalk，tolearntoseparatewordmeanings，ormessages，fromheartmeanings，ormetamessages—unstatedbutpowerfulmeaningsthatcomefromthehistoryofourrelationshipsandthewaythingsaresaid.Presentingrealconversationsfrompeople'slives，Tannenrevealswhatisactuallygoingoninfamilytalk，includinghowfamilyconversationsmustbalancethelongingforconnectionwiththedesireforcontrol，aswestruggletobeclosewithoutgivingupourfreedom.Thiseye-openingbookexplainswhygrownwomensooftenfeelcriticizedbytheirmothers;andwhymothersfeeltheycan'topentheirmouthsaroundtheirgrowndaughters;whygrowingupmaleorfemale，orasanolderoryoungersibling，resultsindifferentexperiencesoffamilythatpersistthroughoutourlives;andmuch，muchmore.Byhelpingustounderstandandredefinefamilytalk，Tannenprovidesthetoolstoimproverelationshipswithfamilymembersofeveryage.