Unconditional Parenting：Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

Thisbookpresentsaprovocativechallengetotheconventionalwisdomofraisingchildren.Authorofninebooks,includingthecontroversialPunishedbyRewards,Kohnexpandsuponthethemeofwhat'swrongwithoursociety'semphasisonpunishmentsandrewardswithregardsraisingchildren.Kohn,thefatherofyoungchildrenhimself,sprinkleshistextwithanecdotesthatshoreuphiswell-researchedhypothesisthatchildrendobestwithunconditionallove,respectandtheopportunitytomaketheirownchoices.Kohnquestionswhyparentsandparentingliteraturefocusoncomplianceandquickfixes,andpointsoutthatdocilityandshort-termobediencearenotwhatmostparentsdesireoftheirchildreninthelongrun.Heinsiststhatcontrollingparentsareactuallyconveyingtotheirkidsthattheylovethemconditionally-thatis,onlywhentheyachieveorbehave.Tacticsliketime-out,bridesandthreats,Kohnclaims,justworsenmatters.Caustic,wittyandthought-provoking,Kohn'sargumentschallengemuchoftoday'sparentingwisdom,yethisassertionthatthewaykidslearntomakegooddecisionsisbymakingdecisions,notbyfollowingdirectionsringstrue.Kohnsuggestsparentshelpkidssolveproblems;providethemwithchoices;andusereason,humourand,asalastresort,arestorativetimeaway(notapunitivetime-out).