The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children

SelectedasaBookoftheYearbytheFinancialTimes‘TheGardenerandtheCarpentershouldberequiredreadingforanyonewhois,oristhinkingofbecomingaparent’FinancialTimesCaringdeeplyaboutourchildrenispartofwhatmakesushuman.Yetthethingwecall‘parenting’isasurprisinglynewinvention.Inthepastthirtyyears,theconceptofparentingandthehugeindustrysurroundingithavetransformedchildcareintoobsessive,controlling,andgoal-orientatedlabourintendedtocreateaparticularkindofchild,andthereforeaparticularkindofadult.Drawingonthestudyofhumanevolutionandherowncutting-edgescientificresearchintohowchildrenlearn,Gopnikshowsthatalthoughcaringforchildrenisprofoundlyimportant,itisnotamatterofshapingthemtoturnoutaparticularway.Childrenaredesignedtobemessyandunpredictable,playfulandimaginative,andtobeverydifferentbothfromtheirparentsandfromeachother.Thevariabilityandflexibilityofchildhoodletstheminnovate,create,andsurviveinanunpredictableworld.‘Parenting’won'tmakechildrenlearn–butcaringparentsletchildrenlearnbycreatingasecure,lovingenvironment.InTheGardenerandtheCarpenter,thepioneeringdevelopmentalpsychologistandphilosopherAlisonGopnikarguesthatthefamiliartwenty-first-centurypictureofparentingisprofoundlywrong–it'snotjustbasedonbadscience,it'sbadforchildrenandtheirparentstoo.