Sh*t My Dad Says

Afterbeingdumpedbyhislongtimegirlfriend,twenty-eight-year-oldJustinHalpernfoundhimselflivingathomewithhisseventy-three-year-olddad.SamHalpern,whois"likeSocrates,butangrier,andwithworsehair,"hasnevermincedwords,andwhenJustinmovedbackhome,hebegantorecordalltheridiculousthingshisdadsaidtohim:"Thatwomanwassexy....Outofyourleague?Son,letwomenfigureoutwhytheywon'tscrewyou.Don'tdoitforthem.""Dopeopleyourageknowhowtocombtheirhair?Itlooksliketwosquirrelscrawledontheirheadsandstartedfucking.""Theworstthingyoucanbeisaliar....Okay,fine,yes,theworstthingyoucanbeisaNazi,butthennumbertwoisliar.Nazione,liartwo."MorethanamillionpeoplenowfollowMr.Halpern'sphilosophicalmusingsonTwitter,andinthisbook,hissonweavesabrilliantlyfunny,touchingcoming-of-agememoiraroundthebestofhisquotes.Anall-AmericanstorythatunfoldsontheLittleLeaguefield,inDenny's,duringexcruciatingfamilyroadtrips,and,mostfrequently,intheHalperns'kitchenoverbowlsofGrape-Nuts,Sh*tMyDadSaysisachaotic,hilarious,trueportraitofafather-sonrelationshipfromamajornewcomicvoice.