Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Going to the Theatre (But Were Too Sloshed to Ask, Dear)

JustwhenyouthoughtitwassafetogobackintheWestEnd…WestEndProducer,themaskedmanofTheatrelandandauthorofthedefinitiveguidetoacting,returnswiththeultimateguidetothetheatregoingexperience–foranyonewho’severbeentothetheatre,orwhothinkstheymightliketotryitoneday.AstheGodfatheroftheatreproducers,withanenviabletrack-recordinuncoveringnewtalent(viahiscompetitionsSearchforaTwitterStarandSearchforaTwitterComposer)andaregularcolumninTheStagenewspaper,WEPisacultfigureinLondon’stheatrescene,frequentlyattendingpressnightswithhistrustyJeanValjeanteddybyhisside.Nowhe’sreadytosharehisindustrysecretsonceagain,thistimecomingtotheaidofaudiencememberseverywhereastheyembarkonthemostperilousquestofall:goingtothetheatre.Packedwithinsiderknow-howandnaughtyadvice,thisbookwilltellyouhowtomakeyourWestEndadventureassmoothasCraigRevelHorwood’snose,includingtipsandadviceon:Whatshowstoseeandwhattoavoid(howtoseethehitsandnottheshits)Wheretosit(withoutdevelopingongoingneckproblemsanddeepveinthrombosis)Howtocombattheatrerage(andgettotheladies’loosbeforeanyoneelse)Whattoeat(crisps,sweets,orkebabs?)Whattowear(fromthecorrectattireatpressnight,totheimportanceofagood,reliablecodpieceatShakespeare'sGlobe)And,crucially,howtoleaveearlyiftheshowisrubbish(a‘shrubbish’)Itwillevenhelpyousaveabitofmoneyaswell.*AlsoincludedaremanyofWEP’smostwickedlyastutetweets,pottedhistoriesofsomeofthegreatestWestEndshows,andhandyinstructionsonhowtobecomeoneofWestEndProducer’sTheatrePrefects–protectingtheatresfromphoneusers,snorers,andpersistentlatecomers.So,putonyournicestfrock,grabyourtickets,anddon’tbelate.Thisbookwillbegininfiveminutes.Irepeat:fiveminutes,dear.*Afterall,theDomPérignonwon’tbuyitself.